What’s in the Tank?

Acts 20:35 ESV

In all things I have shown you that by working hard in this way we must help the weak and remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he himself said, ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’”

Acts 21:13 ESV

Then Paul answered, “What are you doing, weeping and breaking my heart? For I am ready not only to be imprisoned but even to die in Jerusalem for the name of the Lord Jesus.”

How much is left in the tank? My high school football coach would always point to this near the end of the third quarter and going into the fourth. It is a question that pulls into almost all athletic events. As you come to the final “kick” at the end of the race and wonder if you have enough left. It is noted that Eric Liddle’s competition, in his Olympic run, assumed he couldn’t keep the pace up and were astonished when he just ran faster! Watching the time tic away and the race draw to a close, how much is left in the tank?

“But one of the worst results of being a slave and being forced to do things is that when there is no one to force you any more you find that you have almost lost the power of forcing yourself.”

-(C.S. Lewis, A Horse and His Boy)

The horse, in C.S. Lewis’ book A Horse and His Boy, couldn’t make himself continue. After years of slavery he thought he was done, his strength was spent and his advantage was wasted, yet the need was still great. The need for his strength and ability had not diminished, only his resolve. He looked and saw that he had nothing left in his tank. Then THE Lion came. Fear of death propelled him, pushed him, past his assumed limit. You see he not only had more in his tank, he had reserves far beyond what he thought. He had believed a lie.

I was blessed to listen to a sermon this Sunday from an old friend. It has stuck with me as I have been chewing on it. You see, I was a slave. A slave to a bitter and cruel master. Far crueler and far more bitter than any white slaver could ever be. As such I often evaluate my reserves wrongly. I think I have all I can handle. I think that I couldn’t possibly go another step. I believe I need to lighten up, take time away. I think and believe lies. About myself, what I can handle, how much recreation I need, and how much is left in the tank.

Paul worked hard. He was “poured out” for God. He trained whole communities on what hard work for the poor and for understanding the teaching of Christ. Coming to a final stop before Jerusalem he is told explicitly what he already knows, that prison and hardship await him. Yet, he does not look for easier times, or more fertile fields. He lets all know that his heart is set on having nothing left in the tank. He will not reach his end and have his “master find him idol.”

I do not know where you are in the race. I don’t know how much time is left. Yet, I know that I do not want to pass into eternity and find I had much left in the tank. Not because God will not let me in. For it is not on my strength or ability that my salvation rests, but on Christ. No, it is not fear but rather longing to do all I can for the Kingdom of the King I love.

Coram Deo